Fears Revisited
by ryanna
Summary: One lonely Christmas Eve, Shinosaki appears at Makoto's door with a deadly secret...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sailormoon and all characters are copyright their respective  
owners. I don't own any of the characters related with Sailormoon, and   
I'm not making any money off of this story. Also, the song A Whole   
New World belongs to its respective owners as well.  
  
Note: Later on in the story, a swear word or two may appear (nothing   
very strong) but due to content, this story should probably be rated   
Pg-13. Also, the title is subject to change :p  
  
Fears Revisited  
Chapter 1  
Ryanna (sailorstar100@yahoo.com)  
  
  
Makoto sighed. Another Christmas alone. Sure, Usagi had   
invited her over for Christmas dinner, but that was her family   
tradition. All the girls were with their families. Minako had gone off   
to England with her mom, Ami was visiting her father, and Rei was   
working with her grandfather in the mountains.  
She changed into her pajamas and turned on her Christmas   
CD. For some reason or other, the music always calmed her down.   
She yawned and looked at her clock. 4:00. "Shinosaki was right,"   
she muttered sinking into her chair. "I really do need to get a dog."   
She sighed and drifted off to sleep.  
  
Shinosaki stood outside apartment 202. He took a deep   
breath and knocked on the door. Makoto bolted upright at the sudden   
noise. It better not be Usagi, she thought. She opened the door   
grumbling and rubbing the sleep away from her eyes. "Usagi-chan, I told   
you-" Makoto grumbled; she looked up. Her eyes widened.  
Shinosaki smiled. "Merry Christmas, Mako-chan." He handed   
her a single pink rose. Her face exploded into happiness; she jumped   
into his arms. Shinosaki laughed and hugged her back, then set her   
back down. "You look great."  
Makoto blushed. "Thanks. So do you. Come on in!" She shut   
the door behind him. She looked him over for a moment. "Why are   
you all dressed up?"  
"Because we have dinner reservations tonight," he answered   
sitting on the couch.  
Makoto looked stunned. "Dinner reservations? Tonight?"   
she stammered.  
He laughed. "Yes. In an hour. You'd better get dressed."  
Makoto was still in shock. She nodded and left to shower.   
"Help yourself to anything you want, Shinosaki!" She called over her   
shoulder as she walked down the hall leading to the bathroom.  
Shinosaki made himself at home as he had many times before.   
He looked around the small apartment. It looked plain, with almost no   
decorations up at all. He frowned when he saw the tree. It stood in the   
corner of the living room, bare, barely decorated, and with next to   
nothing underneath it.   
He heard the bathroom door close and turned around, hands in   
pockets. "Have you made any cookies, Mako-chan?"  
"No, I haven't felt like it this year." She wrapped the towel   
tighter around her body. Shinosaki stood in awe for a moment. Even   
after all those years of knowing her, this was the first time he'd ever seen   
her when her hair was down. It was long and wavy, spilling over her   
shoulders and framing her face with soft curls. "How should I dress?"   
she asked, looking down.  
"Uh, it's black tie."  
"Thanks." She disappeared into her room to get dressed.  
Shinosaki sighed again. No Christmas cookies either? She always   
bakes Christmas cookies. He searched through the refrigerator for   
something to snack on. It was empty. Fear and concern broke into his   
thoughts. What's going on? he wondered. "Usually she has enough food   
in here to feed an army," he muttered, sitting down again.  
"Something wrong?" Makoto asked quietly, walking into the room.  
Shinosaki stood quietly and turned around. His eyes widened   
slowly; he blinked rapidly. Her dark green gown was long, reaching the   
floor. She wore her hair up in a French twist, with curled strands of hair   
framing her face. Around her neck she wore a tight choker with a pink  
rose in the center that matched the earrings he'd given her for her   
13th birthday.  
Makoto looked down at her dress. "What? Don't you like it?  
"N-no, I mean yes, it's just-" he shut his mouth and tried   
again, "You look absolutely beautiful."  
"Thank you," Makoto blushed. "So, where are we going?"  
Shinosaki smiled and held out his arm. "That, I'm afraid,  
is a secret."  
  
"Can I look yet?" Makoto wined as they walked up to the   
restaurant, with Shinosaki covering her eyes.  
Shinosaki laughed. "Almost…" Makoto stumbled a little. "Okay."   
He removed his hand.  
The smile dropped from her face. "Shinosaki, this place is way   
too expensive-"  
"Don't worry about it." He said pointedly, pulling out her chair.   
"It's Christmas Eve," he sat down across from her, "and there's no one else  
that I'd rather spend it with."  
Makoto blushed and fidgeted with her hands under the table.   
"Soo…" she looked up. "Where are you staying while you're here?"  
"At the Motel 6 on Main Street," Shinosaki answered, taking a   
sip of his water.  
"You're more than welcome to stay with me, you know," Makoto   
offered. "You can have the back room."  
"Are you sure? I mean, the Motel 6 is fine," Shinosaki explained.   
"I didn't exactly tell you that I was going to be here."  
"Then it's settled. You're staying with me." Makoto smiled. "So   
what have you been up to these past few years?"  
"School mostly." The smile faded as he took another sip of his   
water. "And family lately."  
"What's wrong? How are your parents?"  
Shinosaki sighed and rubbed his temples. "They both-uh…passed   
on two weeks ago." He felt sadness rise from his stomach and gather in a   
lump in his throat.  
Makoto's eyes widened and searched his face. "Oh, God," she   
whispered. She reached across the table and for his hand. "Shinosaki,   
I'm sorry, I-"  
"I know," he interrupted. He gripped her hand for a moment and   
smiled slowly. "Let's change the subject, okay?" He forced a smile. Makoto   
did the same.  
"Sir, Ma'm, your dinner is served." The waited set down their plates.   
Shinosaki raised his glass.  
"To us," he toasted, "best friends, forever." They touched glasses and   
drank to themselves.  
  
Makoto wiped her mouth with her napkin and tossed it on her plate.   
"That was delicious. Thank you."  
A grin appeared on Shinosaki's face. He raised an eyebrow. I have an   
idea," he said with a wicked grin.  
"What? What's your idea?" Makoto asked curiously.  
"Let's go dancing."  
A grin spread across Makoto's face. "Really? Dancing?"  
Shinosaki nodded. "Let's go!" He rose from the table and pulled out   
her chair. She took his arm, and he escorted her back to their car.  
  
"May I have this dance?" Shinosaki offered his hand. An upbeat Latin   
song began. Makoto smiled and put her hand in his. He spun her into his arms.   
She smiled as they began to dance. The music faded into the background.   
Their eyes never strayed off one another; the dance moves came to them  
naturally,   
and it was only them. No other couple existed.  
Then it stopped.  
The music ended, and they stopped dancing. Makoto let her hand drop   
from his and walked over to a table. Shinosaki followed. "I'll be back in a  
sec."   
Makoto nodded and Shinosaki disappeared.  
He returned a few minutes later, a Coke in each hand. He set them on   
the table and sat next to Makoto.  
He brushed a strand of hair from her face and rested his hand on her   
cheek. He leaned to kiss her, but Makoto pushed him away.  
"Did I do something wrong?" he wondered aloud.  
"No, it's just-" she broke off and looked down for a moment, then back   
up again. "It's just that you're leaving in a few days and I-"  
Shinosaki cut her off. A new song had started. "Will you dance with me?"   
he asked, again offering his hand to her.  
She hesitated a moment, and then put her hand in his.  
  
I can show you the world  
Shining, shimmering, splendid  
Tell me Princess, now when   
Did you last let your heart decide?  
  
Makoto leaned her head on Shinosaki's shoulder and closed her eyes.   
She held him close to her.  
"Do you want to go home?" he whispered.  
"After this song."  
Shinosaki smiled and tightened his embrace on her. "Okay."  
  
I can open your eyes  
Take you wonder by wonder  
Over, sideways, and under  
On a magic carpet ride  
  
He kissed her softly on the cheek and rested his head on top of hers.   
Makoto opened her eyes for a moment, then smiled and gave into the music.  
  
A whole new world  
A new fantastic point of view  
No one to tell us no  
Or where to go  
Or say we're only dreaming  
  
Makoto lifted her head from his shoulder and smiled.  
  
A whole new world  
A dazzling place I never knew  
But when I'm way up here  
It's crystal clear  
That now I'm in a whole new world  
With you  
(Now I'm in a whole new world with you)  
  
"I had a lot of fun tonight," she told him.  
Shinosaki smiled back. "Good. I did too." He kissed the top of her   
forehead. Her smile grew wider and she blushed.  
  
Unbelievable sights  
Indescrible feelings  
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
Through and endless diamond sky  
  
She looked up at him. Her mind was torn with her heart. She searched   
his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking.  
  
A whole new world  
(Don't you dare close your eyes)  
A hundred thousand things to see  
(Hold your breath-it gets better)  
I'm like a shooting star  
I've come so far  
I can't go back to where I used to be  
  
They stopped moving. Shinosaki cupped her face in his hands and drew   
it closer to his. Makoto closed her eyes; he did the same. Their lips touched,   
and Makoto felt her heart melt.  
  
A whole new world  
(Every turn a surprise)  
With new horizons to pursue  
(Every moment red-letter)  
I'll chase them anywhere  
There's time to spare  
Let me share this whole new world with you  
  
A whole new world  
A whole new world  
That's where we'll be  
That's where we'll be  
A thrilling chase  
A wondrous place  
For you and me  
  
  
  
  
The music ended, and Makoto broke their kiss. Shinosaki looked at her   
with loving eyes. Her eyes dropped from his intense gaze. "Can we go home   
now?" she asked. "I'm tired."  
"Sure," Shinosaki smiled, and they left.  
  
Makoto drifted in and out of sleep on the way home. She stirred   
when she heard the car door shut. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Shinosaki   
opened the car door and frowned. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up,"   
he apologized, helping her out of the car.  
Makoto yawned. "It's okay. No big deal."  
  
"Do you want any tea or something?" asked Makoto as they entered   
the apartment.   
"Sure," he answered shutting the door behind him. "But I'll make   
it. You go ahead and get changed."  
Makoto smiled. "Okay. I'll be back in a second."  
Shinosaki sat at the table with two teacups. He undid his tie and top   
collar button and leaned back in his chair. Makoto returned a few moments   
later in a long button down shirt and sweatpants. She closed her eyes and   
breathed in the sweet aroma of the tea. A smile crept across her face as she   
sipped the hot liquid. "I love green tea."  
"I know," Shinosaki answered setting down his cup. "That's why I   
made it." He leaned forward on his elbows. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine." The answer was short and final, with now more questions   
asked.  
Shinosaki leaned back and watched as Makoto traced the rim of her   
cup with her finger. The two sat in silence, with the exception of the  
Christmas   
music that she'd left from before.  
"I'm sorry if I was foreword with you earlier. I didn't mean any harm,"   
Shinosaki said quietly, staring down at his tea.  
"It's okay," she answered automatically. She rose from her chair and   
stretched her arms above her heard. "I think I'm going to go to bed. Come   
wake me up if I'm still sleeping when you get up, okay?" Shinosaki nodded.   
Makoto smiled and started for her room.  
"Good night, Mako-chan," Shinosaki called, still sitting in his chair.  
She paused and turned her head. "Night."  
Shinosaki looked down at his tea. This wasn't exactly the evening he'd   
had in mind. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the   
chair. He rubbed his face with his hands and sat up again. An idea came to   
him. A grin spread across his face. Maybe this will get Mako-chan into the   
Christmas spirit, he thought as he rose from the table and headed to the closet.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Comments, questions, cherry pies? Send them to sailorstar100@yahoo.com   
I'll get the next chapter out ASAP!!  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Sailormoon and all characters are copyright their   
respective owners. I don't own any of the characters related   
with Sailormoon, and I'm not making any money off of this story.  
  
Note: Later on in the story, a swear word or two may appear   
(nothing   
very strong) but due to content, this story should probably be   
rated   
Pg-13. Also, the title is subject to change :p  
  
Fears Revisited  
Chapter 2  
Ryanna (sailorstar100@yahoo.com)  
  
  
Makoto opened her eyes slowly while the night's events   
replayed in her mind. She sat up and rubbed her face. Wearily   
she peered at the clock. 2:00 am. She groaned and kicked her   
feet off the side of the bed, stood, and stretched.   
Sleepily she wandered through the hallway until she came to   
the living room. Shinosaki was asleep on the couch, one arm   
across his chest and the other hanging off the side. Makoto   
smiled and looked up at the room. Decorations were everywhere;   
even the stockings were up and filled. The tree was decorated   
and there were freshly baked cookies on the coffee table.  
Her smile faded slowly and tears sprung to her eyes.  
Shinosaki opened one eye at a time and sat up. He looked at   
Makoto and furrowed his eyebrows. "Mako-chan, are you okay?" He   
stood and walked toward her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She   
didn't turn; just stood staring forward.   
"Do the cookies really taste that bad?" he grinned a little   
and waited for her to say something. The smile faded quickly   
when her face remained frozen. "Don't you like it? Did I do   
something wrong?"  
Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she turned to face   
him. "Why did you do this?" she whispered.  
"Because I thought you'd like it," he began slowly, his   
eyes never leaving hers,"I just figured that you'd been too   
busy to decorate-"  
Makoto cut him off, "No! I just didn't feel like it this   
year. I wasn't even going to celebrate it this year!" She   
balled her hands into fists at her sides. "What right do you   
have showing up at my doorstep on Christmas Eve and then telling   
me what's wrong with my life?!" she yelled, her voice rising with   
each word.  
Shinosaki was silent. He stood still for a moment,   
searching her eyes. Then he nodded and grabbed his jacked and   
shrugged it on. He began to leave. As a final though he stopped   
and turned around, sighing. "You know what? You're not the Kino   
Makoto that I came to see. You're not my best friend," he paused   
a moment, his words cutting through Makoto, "nor are you the   
person I've been in love with since before I was old enough to   
realize it. All I see is someone empty-Someone who cares about   
nothing and no one." He looked at the floor for a moment, then   
back up at her. "If you see the real Mako-chan, the person I   
flew half-way around the world to see," he opened the door, "tell   
her I'm at the Motel 6." The door slammed.  
Makoto stared blankly at the door for a moment, then   
collapsed to her knees, crying freely. Sobs wracked her body;   
her shoulder jerked wildly.   
Shinosaki leaned back against the door and shut his eyes. He   
winced as her sobs made their way through the door and to his   
ears. He looked up at the ceiling. "Nor is that the person that   
I came to marry," he muttered as he started down the hallway.  
  
  
Makoto hesitated for a moment at the door the Shinosaki's   
motel room. Rain poured down from the heavens, mingling with the   
tears on her cheeks. She wiped her face with her sleeve and   
knocked on the door.   
The door opened, revealing Shinosaki shirtless, and wearing a   
pair of sweatpants. He stood silent, one arm on the frame of the   
door.  
Makoto looked down at the ground, and then back up at him.   
"Never mind." She turned to leave.  
"Wait." Shinosaki grabbed her arm. "What is it?"  
Makoto faced him, losing herself in his dark blue eyes for a   
moment. "Uh," she looked down at her hands, "I just wanted to   
apologize and tell you that-" she stopped and looked him in the   
eyes again. Tears ran freely down her cheeks; her long brown   
hair was wet and heavy, plastered to her face. She took a deep   
breath and tried again. "The reason that I shut you out like   
that is because..." her voice trailed off into the rain. She   
studied her hands again.   
"Is because I'm-I'm afraid."  
"Of what, Mako-chan? What have I done?"  
"I'm afraid," she continued quietly, bringing her gaze to   
meet his, "of being alone. I don't want to be alone anymore."   
Shinosaki began to speak, but Makoto cut him off. "And I'm   
afraid that I'm..." she lowered her gaze again, pausing for a   
moment, "falling in love with you again; I don't want to lose   
you." She didn't look up, and began to turn away.  
She felt Shinosaki hug her tightly; for a brief moment she   
wanted to push him away, then relaxed and cried into his chest.   
He led her into the tiny two-bed motel room and wrapped her with   
a towel.  
"Shinosaki," a blonde girl stood in the corner of the room,   
tapping her foot on the floor impatiently. "Who's she?" she   
asked in English.  
Makoto said nothing, just looked at her wearily. In the back of   
her mind she regretted telling him all those things, sure that   
this was a girlfriend that he'd brought with him for her to meet.  
"Her name is Makoto Kino," Shinosaki answered back,   
motioning to the girl standing next to him.   
Makoto hugged the towel tightly around her shoulders. "Who   
are you?" she asked quietly.  
The girl blinked in amazement. "You speak English?"   
Makoto nodded. "Well," the girl continued, "my name's Julia   
Monroe," she glanced at Shinosaki quickly, and he shook his head.   
Julia took his hint and continued, tilting her head to one side,   
her blonde ponytail following along. "Are you a friend of   
Shinosaki's?" she asked smiling.  
Makoto nodded. "Sort of," she answered, unsure of what to   
say. She turned to Shinosaki and handed the towel to him.   
"Listen, I'd better be going. I didn't know that you had   
company." She moved towards the door.  
"Mako-chan!" Shinosaki grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving.   
"It's pouring out. You'll get sick."  
Makoto twisted her arm out of his grasp. "I'm such an   
idiot, you know that?" she sighed, tears forming at the corners   
of her eyes. "Goodbye, Shinosaki-kun." She walked out of the   
door and into the street.  
Shinosaki ran after her into the cold rain. "Mako-chan,   
wait!" The girl kept walking. Shinosaki caught up with her and   
grabbed her arm, whirling her around.  
"What, Shinosaki? What the hell do you want with me?" she   
yelled. "No, wait, let me guess the reason you flew half-way   
around the world to see me. Was it so that you could throw your   
blonde beauty queen girlfriend in my face?" Her eyes were red   
and swollen; the tears on her face were indistinguishable from   
the rain. "Well? Is that it?" she asked again. She stood there   
for a moment, silent, then continued on her way. Shinosaki   
caught up with her and spun her around. "Why won't you leave me   
alone?" she screamed. "Haven't you don't enough already?" She   
shook her head. "I should've known that bullshit about you being   
in love wit me wasn't true." Shinosaki tried to defend himself,   
but Makoto didn't want to hear it. "Whatever it is, I don't   
care."  
"Mako-chan, please-"  
She rolled her eyes. "What?" she snapped.  
"Marry me!" he yelled back.  
Makoto's eyes widened slightly. "What did you say?" she   
whispered.  
"Marry me," he repeated, softer this time, putting his   
hands on her shoulders. "Please, believe me when I say that I   
love you." Makoto was silent, eyes wide. "And Julia's not my   
girlfriend. She's the-" he shook his head clear, "She's just a   
friend that I wanted you to meet..." his voice trailed off as the   
lie was complete. He shook his head again. "But all that's not   
important. I love you, that's what's important." He searched   
her eyes. "Will you?" he whispered.  
"Shinosaki, I-I don't know. I mean-" she dropped her head.   
"Nothing's gone right these last few days," she mumbled.  
"I know," he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand.   
"And that's mostly my fault." He lifted her chin so that his   
gaze met hers. "But all that aside. Will you marry me?"  
Again she was silent; she couldn't tear her eyes from the   
sea of blue. Her heart told her one thing, her mind another.   
She opened her mouth to answer, then hesitated a moment.   
Shinosaki's eyes bore into hers, hopeful and loving. Time stood   
still. The rain disappeared. Only they existed in the world.   
Makoto shut her eyes for a moment, and then opened them again. A   
smile crept across her face. "Okay. But I'm still not sure how   
this is going to work."  
Shinosaki grinned and threw his arms around her, picking   
her up and spun her around once, then put her back down and   
kissed her deeply. Makoto melted into his embrace and knew this   
was right.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Sorry this chapter was so short! sigh this was supposed to be   
a short story, and I'm still not sure where to break it for   
chapters since it's not finished. So, sorry everyone! Comments,   
questions, cherry pies? Send them to sailorstar100@yahoo.com  
  
The.library (new version!! I need stories!!)  
http://www.geocities.com/moonlightdetensu  



	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Sailormoon and all characters are copyright their   
respective  
owners. I don't own any of the characters related with Sailormoon, and   
I'm not making any money off of this story. Also, the song A Whole   
New World belongs to its respective owners as well.  
  
Note: Later on in the story, a swear word or two may appear (nothing   
very strong) but due to content, this story should probably be rated   
Pg-13. Also, the title is subject to change :p  
  
Fears Revisited  
Chapter 3  
Ryanna (sailorstar100@yahoo.com)  
  
Julia sprang up as the door opened, ponytail flying behind her.   
Shinosaki and Makoto walked in together, hand in hand. "Is everything   
okay now?" she asked cautiously, looking from one to the other.  
Shinosaki started to explain what had transpired, but Makoto   
stepped forward, holding out her hand. "Julia, my name is Kino Makoto,   
and I apologize about the way I acted earlier. I was rude."  
Julia was taken aback. She shook Makoto's hand and answered   
slowly, "It's fine. I hope that you didn't get the wrong idea about   
Shinosaki and I."  
Makoto blushed and shook her head. "Listen, it's stupid for you   
two to stay in a motel when I have plenty of room at my apartment."  
"Are you sure, Mako-chan?" Shinosaki interrupted from behind,   
placing a hand on her shoulder.  
"Positive," she said, turning around, "Julia can have the back   
room, you can have mine, and I'll sleep on the fold out."  
Shinosaki grinned devilishly, leaned over and whispered, "Or we   
could share."  
Makoto laughed. "We'll see," she whispered back. She turned   
back to face Julia. "Then it's settled. "Let's go."  
  
Anybody want tea?" Makoto offered as she disappeared into the   
kitchen.  
Julia yawned. "No thanks, Makoto. In fact I think I'm going to   
go to bed."  
"Okay!" Makoto called. "Down the hall, second door on the left,"   
she directed Julia, poking her head around a corner.  
"Okay. Thanks. 'Night everyone!" Julia called as she   
disappeared into the room and closed the door.  
Shinosaki walked up behind Makoto and put his arms around her   
waist. She giggled quietly as he nuzzled her neck. "I don't suppose   
that you want to go to bed, Mako-chan," he whispered.  
"And you would suppose correct," she answered, smiling and   
turning around, one teacup in each hand. "I want to drink some tea   
before I go to bed."  
They say on the couch, drinking tea and watching the fire.   
Shinosaki had his arm around her shoulders, and Makoto leaned her head   
on his chest. She set her teacup on the table and curled up against   
his chest. Shinosaki smiled and held her tighter, watching her sleep.  
After a few hours, he carefully picked her up, cradling her in   
his arms. She mumbled something and snuggled deeper into his arms.   
He gently laid her on the bed and tucked the covers around her.   
He smiled, and kissed her forehead lightly. "Goodnight, Mako-chan," he   
said quietly as he turned to leave.  
"Shinosaki?" Makoto's voice stopped him, and he turned to face   
her. She smiled. "Goodnight."  
He smiled back and left the room, closing the door behind him.  
  
Makoto woke suddenly, sitting up in her bed. She looked at her   
alarm clock and sighed. 3:00. "Oh well," she muttered as she opened   
the door to her room. "Some water and I'll be back to sleep in no   
time."  
She wandered into the living room with her glass of water. She   
frowned when she saw Shinosaki.  
He tossed and turned, lines of fear and sadness creasing his   
handsome face. Makoto set her glass down and shook him awake.  
He jolted upright, cold sweat running down his face. "Shinosaki,   
are you alright?" Makoto asked quietly, sitting down next to him, and   
brushing the hair out of his eyes. He was silent for a moment, and she   
leaned her head against his shoulder.   
Shinosaki put an arm around her shoulder and rested his head on   
top of hers. "Yeah. I'm okay."  
"Did you have a nightmare?" she asked, looking up at him.  
He nodded and met her gaze. "But I'm okay now."  
She smiled and yawned. "Good." She snuggled closer to him.   
"Because I want to go back to sleep."  
Shinosaki tightened his grip on her shoulder. "Mako-chan, it   
never goes away, does it?" he asked, lowering his eyes.  
The smile faded from her face, and she took his face in her   
hands. "No, it doesn't. You know that." Silent tears ran down his   
face. She hugged him tighter. "It never goes away, but   
eventually-eventually it gets easier," she lied with a tiny smile.   
Shinosaki nodded and forced a tiny smile. Makoto leaned upward and   
kissed him softly. "Come on," she got up, holding onto his hand.   
"Let's go to bed."  
  
Shinosaki lay awake, content to watch Makoto sleep. She was   
cuddled next to him. He yawned, and Makoto stirred. She opened her   
heavy eyes slowly. She sat up and looked around for a few seconds,   
trying to wake up, then her eyes found her clock and she groaned.  
"I'm sorry if I woke you," Shinosaki apologized, putting an arm   
around her waist and kissing her shoulder.  
Makoto yawned and leaned her head back against him. "No biggy,"   
she said sleepily. "I have to leave for work anyway." She got up   
reluctantly and headed into the bathroom.  
"Well, do you want to catch a movie later tonight?" He called   
after her.  
She appeared in the doorway, holding her toothbrush. "I can't   
tonight. I work from 10-4, then from 8-12." She continued to brush   
her teeth.  
Shinosaki shrugged. "Okay, then we'll see a movie at 4:30."  
Makoto rummaged through her drawers for her work clothes.   
"Sure," she answered, "if you want."  
"Okay then. Do you need a ride to work?" Shinosaki offered,   
getting out of bed and pulling on a shirt.  
"Sure. Let me just leave Julia a note."  
  
"Thanks for the ride." Makoto opened the car door.  
Shinosaki chuckled. "I can't believe that you're working here."   
Makoto became defensive. "Hey, that's not fair. You try getting   
a job around here."  
"I was just joking. It's just kind of ironic, that's all.   
Anyways, I'll be back at four to pick you up."  
Makoto leaned against the open car window. "Okay, then. I'll   
see you at four," she repeated, and then disappeared into the Crown   
Game Center and Restaurant.  
  
"Shinosaki! I'm glad you're back," Julia stood up when she heard   
the door open and close.  
"What's up?" he asked, hanging up his coat and taking off his   
shoes.  
"Good news." She handed him a file folder. "We just found a new   
lead."  
Shinosaki's eyes widened. "You're kidding."  
Julia smiled. "Serious. The DNA lab was able to isolate some   
skin samples from your mother's fingernails." Shinosaki nodded and   
swallowed. "They also identified them as being identical to the   
samples that were found on your sister when her autopsy was preformed.   
So if it was an assassin, that means that the same person hired him for   
both jobs."  
"Hana..." he whispered under his breath. Then his eyes hardened.   
"When I find the bastard who did this-" he swore.  
Julia put her arm on his shoulder. "We'll find them. I   
promise." Shinosaki nodded slowly and excused himself to his room.  
Julia sighed and sat back down at the table that was covered with   
pictures of the two murders. She rubbed her eyes and leaned back in   
her chair. "God I hope we find him."  
  
Shinosaki opened the door to the Crown Game Center and Restaurant   
where he'd dropped Makoto off hours earlier.  
"May I help you, sir?" A young man wiped his hands with a rag.  
"I'm looking for Kino Makoto."  
"Sure. I'll get her." He motioned to a nearby chair. "Have a   
seat."  
"Thanks." Shinosaki looked around the building. He smiled.   
"Hasn't changed at all."  
Makoto came around a corner carrying a pizza. "You're early!"   
she called over her shoulder. A few moments later she reappeared. "So   
what's up?" she asked sitting down next to him, and planting a quick   
kiss on his cheek.  
"Nothing," he answered, kissing her on the forehead. "How much   
longer till you get off work?"  
Makoto looked at her watch. "Twenty-five minutes." She sighed   
and leaned her head back on his shoulder momentarily. Then, she rose   
and stretched her arms above her head. "Back to work," she mumbled and   
disappeared.  
  
"Later guys!" Makoto called over her shoulder as she grabbed her   
purse from behind the counter. Shinosaki stood from his seat and   
walked out of the tiny place with her.  
Makoto sighed as she leaned back against the car seat. She   
closed her eyes for a moment, and then looked up at the roof.   
"What's the matter?" Shinosaki asked, turning the key to start   
the engine.  
She smiled at him. "Nothing. Just a little bummed that I have   
to work all night, that's all." Silence. Makoto stared out the window   
and watched other cars go by. There's something that he's not telling   
me, Makoto thought wordlessly. She frowned and stole a glance at his   
handsome profile. "What movie do you want to see?" she asked suddenly.  
"I really don't care. There's probably some new horror flick   
playing," Shinosaki suggested as he pulled into the parking lot of the   
movie theater. "I just want to spend some time with you." He smiled.  
"Okay," Makoto agreed, climbing out of the car. He'll tell me   
sooner or later, her mind reassured her.  
  
"I'll see you tonight then, okay?"  
Makoto smiled, unbuckling her seatbelt.  
Shinosaki leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. Makoto pulled   
away slowly. "Bye!" she disappeared into the arcade, leaving Shinosaki   
alone. He sighed and headed back to the apartment to discuss this new   
lead with Julia.  
  
"Makoto-san!" Furuhata Motoki came around to where she was   
wiping down the tables. I'm going to run to get some milk for tomorrow   
morning. I'll be back in a few minutes."  
Makoto nodded and went back to wiping the tables. She heard him   
leave and sighed. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. She looked up at   
the clock. Midnight. Good, she thought, Shinosaki should be here   
soon. Her ears perked up when she heard the door open.  
A short, dark man entered the small restaurant portion of the   
game center and sat down at a nearby booth. Suddenly she wished that   
Motoki hadn't left. "I'm sorry, sir," she said quietly, "but we're all   
closed up for tonight." A deep put formed in the middle of her stomach   
as he turned to face her. Get a hold of yourself, Makoto! her mind   
scolded. Nothing bad is going to happen. You can take care of   
yourself.  
"Oh," was the only word the man uttered. Slowly he rose and   
turned to leave. Makoto let out the breath that she'd been holding   
without realizing it. But still the pit remained. "But I'm forgetting   
something." The man turned around, pulling a gun from his coat.  
Makoto's breath was caught in her throat. "Take whatever you   
want," she whispered. The man grinned, baring a mouth full of ugly   
teeth. "Oh, but I already have what I want." She could see his beady   
eyes narrow under his hat. He pulled the trigger.  
Makoto cried out sharply as she fell to the ground, her hand   
clutched to her chest. She struggled to breathe, and her mind   
wandered. She felt darkness creep up behind her, its icy hand   
strangling her, slowly creeping into her mind.  
Faintly, she heard a door open, and then two voices. "Shino-  
saki-" she cried, her voice barely above a whisper. Her vision blurred   
and her body tensed slightly, then relaxed as the darkness became   
victorious.  
  
Motoki head someone walk up behind him as he started to open the   
door to his game center. "I'm sorry, we're-" he cut off sharply as he   
turned to face the stranger.  
"Motoki-kun?" Shinosaki blinked in surprise.  
Motoki did the same. Then a smile spread to their faces. "I   
didn't know that you were back in town," he continued as he opened the   
door. "Do you want something to eat?"  
"No, thanks. Actually I'm here to see-" Silence cut him off   
when they entered the tiny dining room. Fear cut through Shinosaki as   
he stood there, frozen and unmoving. "Mako-chan," he whispered.  
She lay face down on the floor, a crimson cloud around her. Both   
Motoki and Shinosaki stood paralyzed in the doorway. "Call an   
ambulance, Motoki." Somehow Shinosaki found his voice. Motoki nodded   
wordlessly and disappeared.  
Shinosaki knelt next to her, and carefully cradled her in his   
arms. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes. This can't be   
happening, his mind screamed. Not again. "Mako-chan," he whispered,   
softly rubbing her cheek with his thumb. "C'mon," he pleaded, "just   
wake up."  
Sirens wailed and screamed in the distance as they drew nearer.   
Shinosaki held Makoto closer to him, never wanting to let her go.  
A wave of paramedics entered the game center. They shoved   
Shinosaki out of the way; forcing him to back off. He stood, dazed as   
they swarmed around Makoto. Beeping and shouting filled the air.   
Motoki put a hand on Shinosaki's shoulder. Shinosaki looked down at   
his hands. They were covered with crimson, and were stained with the   
blood of his beloved.   
The medics lifted Makoto on a stretcher and raced for the door.   
Shinosaki watched with blind eyes. He felt himself follow her. A   
medic appeared in front of him and stopped him from following her.   
"Sir, you can't go in the ambulance with her. But you can follow   
behind. We're taking her to Shogun Hospital."  
The ambulance doors were closed and it raced down the street.   
Shinosaki jumped into his car and followed the ambulance into the   
dark night.  
  
  
Questions? Comments? Send them all to sailorstar100@yahoo.com!  



	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Sailormoon and all characters are copyright their   
respective  
owners. I don't own any of the characters related with Sailormoon, and   
I'm not making any money off of this story. Also, the song A Whole   
New World belongs to its respective owners as well.  
  
Note: Later on in the story, a swear word or two may appear (nothing   
very strong) but due to content, this story should probably be rated   
Pg-13.   
  
Mini-Japanese Vocab  
*Hai: Yes, right  
*sensai: teacher  
*Ani-san: big brother  
  
  
Fears Revisited  
Chapter 4  
Ryanna (sailorstar100@yahoo.com)  
  
  
Mizuno Ami walked through the halls of the hospital carrying a   
clipboard in one hand. A gold clip pulled her short blue hair back.   
Her long white lab coat swirled about her feet as she walked.  
"Why can't you tell me?!" A young man's pained and angry voice   
made its way to her ears.  
"Because you have no blood-relation with the patient, sir," the   
receptionist replied calmly.  
Ami quickly walked over to the information desk. "Damn it!" The   
man yelled. "I'm her fiancée for God's sake!"  
"Excuse me," she said softly, "but sir, it's hospital policy not   
to-"  
The man whirled around. Ami's eyes widened. "Shinosaki-kun?"   
she whispered, covering her mouth with her free hand.  
"Ami-san?"  
"W-what are you doing here? I thought that you had moved overseas."   
A pit developed in her stomach.  
Shinosaki sighed. "I came over here to see Mako-chan-" his   
voice broke slightly. His gaze lowered to the floor.  
"Is she okay?" Ami asked stupidly, for lack of something better   
to say.  
Shinosaki shook his head slowly. "No," he whispered, "and I   
can't find out what the hell is going on with her because I'm not   
a blood-relation."  
Ami felt her eyes water. Shinosaki sat down on a nearby bench   
and held his face in his hands. Ami tapped away at the hospital   
computer. The receptionist stood by quietly. Ami froze when she found   
the screen she was searching for.  
"Kino Makoto," she whispered to herself as her eyes darted   
around the screen, "suffered a bullet wound to the chest…" she   
trailed off. "Shinosaki-san!" she called him over. "She's in room 202."  
"How ironic," he muttered softly.  
Ami smiled a little. "Come on, I'll take you to her."  
Shinosaki's eyes brightened for a moment. He nodded slowly.  
  
Julia hung up the phone and leaned back in her chair. She   
rubbed her temples. A young Japanese detective sat across form her,   
speaking rapidly about some armed robbery. She closed her eyes and   
listened to bits and pieces of the conversation. Something he said caught   
her attention, and she sat up in her chair and waited for the man to   
hang up.  
He wrote furiously for a few moments after he'd hung up the   
phone. Julia waited patiently, her blue eyes sharp and alert.  
He looked up at her. "There was a shooting at the Crown   
Game Center and Restaurant. The victim was a young woman named Kino   
Makoto," the man relayed his notes in broken English.  
Julia's eyes widened. "Where there any other victims?" she   
asked slowly.  
The man studied his notes. He shook his head. "No, but   
there were two bystanders that called the paramedics. Their names   
were Furuhata Motoki and Miyake Shinosaki."  
Julia sat back in her chair and crossed her arms across   
her chest. "Was there anything taken from the place?" she asked, a   
thought poking at the back of her head.  
"No," the detective answered, perplexed. He leaned across   
the desk. "Do you have another suspicion about the shooting,   
Julia-san?"  
Julia nodded and sat up. "Detective, are you familiar   
with the murder of Miyake Hana that took place a few years ago?"  
"Hai," he answered, curious. "Do you think that the   
murder and this case are related in some way?"  
"I do," she answered. "Miyake Hana was the younger sister   
of Miyake Shinosaki. After her death the family moved to the U.S.   
But a few weeks ago his parents were also found murdered. I'm not   
convinced that this was a robbery, especially since nothing was   
taken." She became quiet.  
The detective nodded. "It does seem a bit of a coincidence.   
But where does the girl Kino Makoto fit into the puzzle?" he wondered   
aloud.  
Julia shook her head and fell back into her chair again.   
"That's what I've been trying to figure out for the past week," she   
muttered.   
"Well, perhaps we should bring the Miyake boy in for   
questioning," the detective suggested, standing up and grabbing his coat.   
He carefully folded his notes and tucked them away into his pocket.  
Julia stood quickly. "I really don't think that will be   
necessary. He's not a suspect in either case," she said pointedly,   
grabbing her jacket as well.  
The detective looked at her. "He is in this one. Are you   
coming or not?"  
  
Shinosaki sat alone on a bench outside Makoto's room. He held   
a plain gold ring in his hand, studded with tiny diamonds. He turned   
it over in his hands, his mind full of the past. Ami's heart sank   
when she saw him sitting there alone.   
"Hey," she said quietly, sitting down next to him.   
"Hey," he answered without looking up.   
"What's that?" Ami asked when she noticed the ring he was holding.  
Shinosaki turned to face her. "Oh, this?" he repeated.   
"This was my mother's wedding ring. I was hoping to give it to…" he   
trailed off and turned back to face the room.  
Ami bit her lip. She watched painfully as she saw tears   
form in his eyes and slowly roll down his cheeks. She looked   
down at the charts she had on her clipboard. "Well, I have some good   
news," she offered slowly. He turned back towards her again. "She's   
doing better. And I think that I might be able to get you in to see her."   
Shinosaki's eyes brightened. "Just give me a little time, okay?"  
Shinosaki nodded. "Thanks, Ami-san." She nodded and left.   
He was alone again. He bent his head over, again and again turning   
the ring around in his fingers. He smiled a little. Memories flooded   
his mind. Then the smile disappeared.  
  
*flashback*  
"Shinosaki! Catch!" Makoto yelled as she threw the ball to her   
friend. He caught it, laughing. A teacher walked up behind Makoto   
and tapped her on the shoulder.   
"Kino Makoto-san," she said with dark eyes.  
Makoto's smile vanished. "Hai, sensei," she answered politely.  
"Come inside with me." They disappeared into the school building.  
Shinosaki stood outside, holding the ball she'd thrown to him.   
He watched the two silhouettes from outside. He saw the shorter nod   
and bow, then turn to leave. Makoto exited the building and ran.   
Shinosaki dropped the ball and tore off after her. He found her crying   
in corner, away from everybody else. "Mako-chan?" he asked quietly.   
"Are you okay? Did you get in trouble?"  
Makoto shook her head and wiped her face with the back of her   
sleeve. Her green eyes were clouded and dark. "Some-something   
ha-happened," she said between sobs. Shinosaki sat down next to her   
and put an arm around her shoulder. She looked at him for a moment and   
then returned to staring at the ground. "My-my parents aren't co-coming   
home," she finished quietly.   
Shinosaki thought for a moment, not fully understanding for a   
few seconds. Realization washed over him and he looked down at his   
friend. "Mako-chan," he whispered, "I'm sorry."  
*end flashback*  
  
"Miyake Shinosaki." A man's voice broke into Shinosaki's   
memories. He looked up, startled. "Come with me."  
Shinosaki stood and slipped the ring into his pocket.   
"What? What's going on?" he demanded.   
"Shinosaki, just go with him," Julia spoke up and stepped out   
from behind the detective.   
"Julia! What's going on?" Shinosaki demanded again.  
"We just have some questions we'd like to ask of you,   
Miyake-san," the detective said plainly.  
"What questions?" he retorted.  
The detective sighed. "You've been named a suspect of the   
shooting of Kino Makoto."  
Shinosaki paled. "You can't be serious," he whispered.   
He turned to Julia, "Tell him I'd never hurt her!"  
Julia stood silent for a moment. "Just go with him," she said softly,   
looking up at him with her clear blue eyes.  
"Is there something wrong here?" Ami's voice broke through the   
tension.  
Shinosaki whirled around, keeping one eye on the detective and   
Julia. "Nothing," he replied slowly. "I have to leave for a little   
while," he trailed off and finally looked her straight in the eye.   
"Please," he whispered, "look after her for me." Ami nodded and   
watched as turned and walked down the hall.  
  
"All right," Shinosaki said quietly when he and the detective   
were finally alone. "What do you want."  
"What kind of relationship do you and Kino Makoto-san have?"   
he asked bluntly, folding his hands across his chest and leaning back   
in his chair.  
"We're best friends," Shinosaki replied coolly. "She's there   
for me, and I'm there for her. It's been that way every since her parents   
died," he added quietly.  
"Her parents-were they killed?"  
"No. They died in a plane crash when we were around 8."  
"And you sister, Miyake Hana. When was she killed?"  
Shinosaki froze. He could feel a lump form in his throat as a   
picture of his younger sister began to form in his mind. "She died on   
June 7th, 1998," he paused, "she was 10; it was her birthday." The   
detective nodded and made a note on his paper. "What?" Shinosaki   
demanded. "You can't possibly think that I'm behind the murder of   
my sister and my parents. Even worse than that, you can't believe   
that I'd even dare hurt the only family I have left; the person I   
care most for in the world."  
"Oh, so it's just a coincidence that everyone in your family is   
dead, and that the only one left in the will beside you is lying in a   
hospital bed, half-dead herself?" the detective retorted.  
Shinosaki ran his thoughts back over what he had just heard.   
"The will?" he asked, puzzled. "What will?"  
  
*flashback*  
"Shinosaki! Wait up!" Makoto yelled behind him. He took the   
steps two at a time, holding a bunch of balloons in one hand, and a   
gift in the other. Makoto carried the cake behind him.   
"Shh!!" he quieted her when they reached the door. He carefully   
swung the door open. "Hana!" he called.   
Makoto stepped out from behind him and yelled, "Surprise! Happy   
Birthday!"  
Silence.  
"Hana?" Shinosaki walked around the corner. His breath caught   
in his throat. "Hana…" his voice trailed off into silence. Makoto   
put the cake on the counter and followed him as he disappeared. Her   
voice caught in her throat and a pit settled into her stomach.  
Hana lay in the center of the room, her phone just beyond the   
reach of her fingertips; tears of pain and anguish on her cheeks.   
Shinosaki dropped the balloons and gift on the floor and ran towards   
his sister. "Ani-san," she whispered as he cradled her in his arms.   
"Don't talk," he whispered back.   
She nodded slowly and took in a shivering breath. Shinosaki   
looked at Makoto who stood frozen in the doorway. Hana squeezed his   
hand hard and closed her eyes. Pain washed over her face. She   
looked up at her brother and smiled slowly. "Goodbye, Ani-san."   
Her breath left her.  
Shinosaki bent over her, holding her close and crying freely.   
Makoto found her legs and kneeled beside Shinosaki, putting an arm   
on his back, comforting him as much as possible without words.  
  
Lines creased Makoto's forehead as the memory flooded her mind.   
She struggled to escape the darkness that plagued her. Every once   
and a while, she faintly heard voices around her. She thought that one   
of the voices she heard might have been Ami, but she couldn't tell for   
sure. They all sounded so far away, as if she weren't even there, but   
someplace else. The constant fogginess clouded her thoughts and   
memories to the point where they were only a dream.   
The stillness was broken when she felt someone slip something   
around her finger. She felt a kiss brush against her cheek. Warmth   
filled her body as the stranger's voice finally made sense. She   
held onto his hand.  
  
Shinosaki watched her, studying every feature and committed   
them all to memory. A tiny smile crept across his face as he   
studied her beauty. He reached in his pocket and took out his   
mother's ring. He stared at it for a few moments, and carefully   
slipped it around her finger. His hand lingered for a moment.   
He felt her hand close about his. His face exploded with joy and   
happiness. "I knew you were still in there somewhere, Mako-chan,"   
he whispered to himself. "Ami-san!" he called.   
Ami came tearing around the corner. "What?!" she asked   
frantically. "Is she okay?"  
Makoto mumbled something unintelligible. Ami's eyes widened.   
A broad smile spread across her face.   
Makoto's eyes fluttered, and she struggled to lift her heavy   
lead lids. Light pierced the darkness that she had become   
accustomed to. Colors ran together, like some child's insane finger   
painting. Sounds pierced the silence that had been driving her   
mad. Her vision cleared, and once again, emerald green met deep   
blue. Shinosaki smiled and kissed her softly on the forehead.   
Makoto smiled back.  
  
Shinosaki again stood in the hall waiting for the doctors.   
He waited patiently as they checked and rechecked Makoto.  
"Shinosaki-kun?"   
A sweet voice broke into his thoughts. He whirled around to   
face a short, dark haired girl. He looked at her closely, a memory   
poking him in the back of his head.   
"You don't remember me, do you?" she said smugly, her dark   
eyes boring into his. She flipped her shortly cropped raven hair   
over her shoulder. "Well, it has been a long time," she agreed to   
his silence, "but I still think that you should remember me,   
Shinosaki," she said, moving closer to him.  
"Yamiro…" Shinosaki's voice trailed off.   
"You do remember!" A smile broke into her face and she   
lept into his arms, pushing her body close against his.   
Shinosaki carefully distanced himself. "Hai, I remember."   
He shook his head, wiping the memories from his mind. "What are   
you doing here?"  
Yamiro lowered her head. "I heard about Makoto-san, and   
wanted to make sure that you were okay," she said softly. She   
met his eyes. "But I guess you are, huh?" she said, cheerful once   
more.  
"Yeah," he replied, searching for other words to break   
the tension that filled the hall.  
"Shinosaki-kun!" Another voice called from down the hall.   
Shinosaki thanked whoever it was silently and turned around.   
Chiba Mamoru, Tsukino Usagi, and Hino Rei all jogged toward him.   
He heaved a sigh of relief.  
Usagi reached him first. "Shinosaki-kun…is Mako-chan…okay?"   
she said between breaths, her hand on her knees, blond pigtails   
hanging down by the sides of her face.   
Shinosaki smiled. "Yeah, Usagi-san," he said, laughing.   
"She's okay."  
A relieved sigh erupted through the newly gathered crowd.   
Rei eyed Yamiro cautiously. "Who's that?" she asked, an unsure   
look on her face.   
"Oh, sorry. This is Kirei Yamiro. She's a…" Shinosaki   
searched the air above him for words, "an old friend of mine   
and Mako-chan's."  
Mamoru's eyebrow raised in suspicion. "Kirei Yamiro…Beautiful   
Darkness," he translated quietly. He traded glances with Rei.   
Usagi looked from one to the other. "Am I…missing something,   
Mamo-chan?" she asked slowly.  
Mamoru smiled down at her and put an arm around her shoulder.   
"Of course, not, Usako. I was just trying to remember the last time   
that we saw Shinosaki-kun," he lied, offering a hand to Shinosaki.  
Shinosaki smiled, and the two men shook hands. Shinosaki   
nodded slightly, and thanked God silently that Mamoru hadn't said   
anything else about Yamiro's name.  
Then conversation and laughter flooded the hall. Relief   
filled everyone, and relaxation took over. Shinosaki yawned, and ran   
a hand through this dark brown hair.   
"No offense, Shinosaki-kun, but you look like you just got hit   
by a dump truck," Rei joked lightly. "You should really go and get   
some rest," she advised.  
Shinosaki smiled. "Yeah, well, I'd really rather stay here   
with Mako-chan," he protested. "Besides, I'm not that tired anyway."  
Usagi gave Shinosaki a sideways glance. "Shinosaki, go home   
and get some sleep!" she ordered. "We'll watch Mako-chan for you.   
Don't worry. She's okay now, remember?"  
Shinosaki sighed, realizing he was up against a wall. "All   
right, I'll go home and sleep. But I want to at least see Mako-chan   
before I leave."  
Yamiro spoke up from behind him. "Shinosaki-kun, after we   
see Makoto-san, would you be able to give me a ride home?" she asked   
sweetly, batting her long eyelashes.   
Rei groaned and Usagi rolled her eyes. Shinosaki gave them   
a helpless look. What am I supposed to do? his mind growled.   
"Sure, Yamiro-san," he sighed.   
Ami emerged from the room, her husband Ryo close behind.   
Mamoru walked up to them as they closed the door, shaking Ryo's   
hand and smiling. Shinosaki made his way over to where they were   
talking. "Hi, I'm Miyake Shinosaki," he said, introducing himself   
to Ryo and offering his hand.   
Ryo shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Miyake-san.   
My name is Urawa Ryo. I'm Ami-chan's husband."   
Shinosaki's eyes widened and Ami blushed slightly.   
"Congratulations," he said, startled. Never in a million years would   
he have thought that Ami would be the first one of the gang to get   
married. He'd always expected Usagi and Mamoru to be the first to jump   
into wedlock. His anxiety took over. "So, she's going to be alright?"   
he said, praying to God that his assumption was right.  
Ami and Ryo smiled. "Yes, Shinosaki-kun," Ami answered. "She's   
going to be fine."  
Shinosaki nearly collapsed with relief. Mamoru put his hand on his   
shoulder to steady him. Shinosaki thanked Ami and went in the room to   
see Makoto.  
  
  
Questions? Comments? Send them all to sailorstar100@yahoo.com!  



	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Sailormoon and all characters are copyright their   
respective owners. I don't own any of the characters related   
with Sailormoon, and I'm not making any money off of this story.  
  
Note: Later on in the story, a swear word or two may appear   
(nothing   
very strong) but due to content, this story should probably be   
rated   
Pg-13. And I've decided that I'm going to keep the title :)  
  
Special Thanks: Thanks to Zen, Alex, and Scott "Cyclops" Summerton  
for helping me out with editing and for providing comments. Oh,   
thanks again to Zen for scanning my drawings in for me. Arigatou!  
  
Fears Revisited  
Chapter 5  
Ryanna (sailorstar100@yahoo.com)  
  
  
Makoto opened her tired eyes when he heard the door open   
and close. Shinosaki sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand   
in his. "Shinosaki," she whispered smiling, her lips dry and cracked.   
"Hey," he replied, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing   
her knuckles softly. "How are you feeling?"  
"Better," she answered, "but you look like hell," she said   
with a grin.  
Shinosaki laughed. "I guess I could say the same for you."  
Silence settled down upon the room. Shinosaki held back tears   
of relief and joy and studied her face, trying to read her thoughts.   
"Shinosaki, will you tell me what is going on?" Makoto's smile faded.  
Shinosaki nodded. He took a deep breath and began his story.   
"I told you that my parents died a few weeks ago," he began. Makoto   
nodded with recognition. "Well," he said, looking down at his hands,   
"what I didn't tell you is that they were murdered the same way Hana   
was." His voice broke slightly as he pictured what his parents looked   
like. Makoto squeezed his hand tighter, letting him know she was there.   
He composed himself and continued his story, "After that, I was scared.   
Three of the most important people in my life were dead, all murdered,   
and I was the only one left." He looked up at her. "Now I can really   
understand what you felt like, Mako-chan." She was silent. He   
continued on, "Julia isn't just a friend of mine. She's the detective   
they assigned to the murder cases. I was worried about you and decided   
to bring her along to serve as a...a type of bodyguard, I guess, for when   
I couldn't watch over you." Again he studied his hands.   
"Shinosaki," Makoto said quietly. Words escaped her and tears   
flooded her eyes. No, Makoto, she told herself. It's my turn. I have   
to be strong for him. She pushed away her tears. "Shinosaki," she said   
again, a little louder this time. He looked up at her. "I'm sorry about   
your parents-I really am." She sighed, straining to think of something   
else to say. "Everything will be alright. Trust me, okay? Trust me like   
I trusted you." He nodded and squeezed her hand back.  
The door to her room opened again and in walked Usagi, Mamoru, and   
Rei, followed by a short girl with raven hair, hair darker even than Rei's.   
Makoto's feeling of unease returned. She forced a smile as they all crowded   
around her bed. "Makoto-san," the short girl said, her face twisted with   
concern. "How are you feeling?"   
Makoto narrowed her eyes and tried to place where she had seen the   
girl before. Realization hit her and her eyes went wide. "Yamiro…" she   
said, surprised and fearful. "Wh-What are you doing here?" she stammered.   
Shinosaki saw the fear in her eyes; so did Usagi and Rei.  
Shinosaki looked at the others. "Maybe we'd better let her rest a   
little," he suggested. They nodded and left. "Mako-chan-"  
"Not again," she murmured, staring straight forward, eyes wide   
with fear.  
Shinosaki leaned over and kissed her. "Listen to me," he said,   
forcing her to look at him, "I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise."   
Makoto forced a smile. She yawned. Shinosaki chuckled. "Sounds to me   
like we both need some sleep." She nodded slightly, and Shinosaki stood.   
"I'll be back later." And he left.  
  
"Alright, who are you," Rei said bluntly when they left the room.  
Yamiro looked surprised. "I-I told you who I am. I'm an old   
friend of Makoto and Shinosaki," she stammered.   
Rei crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her gaze. "If   
you were her friend," she began, slowly closing the gap between herself   
and Yamiro, "then she would've told us about you a long time ago."  
Yamiro backed up until she hit the wall, struggling to keep some   
space between herself and Rei.  
"Yeah," Usagi chimed in, standing beside Rei. "What did you do   
to them?"   
Yamiro suddenly felt claustrophobic. "I-I didn't do anything."   
Sweat beaded on her forehead. That girl, Rei was it? There's something in   
her eyes. What is that? It's the same with the blonde, she thought to   
herself.   
Rei was about to retort when the door opened. Their heads turned   
to see Shinosaki exit and lean back against the door, running his hands   
through his brown hair. Rei and Usagi backed away from Yamiro almost   
immediately. Urawa and Mamoru walked over to Shinosaki and they talked   
for a few moments. Ami walked up behind Rei and Usagi. "Everything okay   
here?" she asked, seemingly oblivious to the tension that filled the room.   
But her eyes betrayed her true intentions. Cold and unbelieving   
toward Yamiro, she felt dread sink into her stomach. They know something…   
her mind said, paranoid. Her dark blue eyes darted back and forth, tracing   
one face after another. The space seemingly shrank and shrank until she   
began to get short of breath. Then her mind fixed on something. A smile   
appeared on the corners of her lips. "Shinosaki-kun!" she called, not   
taking her eyes off the three girls that stood in front of her. "Can we   
leave yet?"  
Shinosaki rolled his eyes and sighed quietly. Mamoru and Urawa   
stifled a laugh. "Yeah, we may as well." To Mamoru and Urawa, he said,   
"You'll call me if anything happens, right?" They nodded in reply.   
Yamiro slithered away from Rei, Usagi and Ami, and hung on Shinosaki's   
arm. He threw a look towards his friends and shrugged slightly. "Dammit…"   
he swore in English under his breath. Mamoru heard him and laughed.   
  
Julia rubbed her eyes and sighed. She looked over to her right at the   
detective that accompanied her. "Can you get any English stations?" she asked,   
doubtfuly in broken Japanese.   
He looked back at her and nodded. His hand moved from the wheel to   
the radio and switched the station. Soft guitar flooded through the tiny   
Mitsubishi.  
  
Had a bad day again  
  
Julia grinned at the irony. "That's the understatement of the year,"   
she muttered under her breath. The detective smiled secretly to himself.  
  
She said I would not understand  
She left a note and said I'm sorry I  
Had a bad day again  
  
The interrogation of Shinosaki replayed throughout her mind. Something   
was bugging her about it. Oh well, she gave up, and just listened to the music.  
  
She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace  
Smeared the lipstick on her face  
Slammed the door and said I'm sorry I  
Had a bad day again  
  
Shinosaki turned the radio on as he closed the car door with his other   
hand. Yamiro entered beside him and smiled sweetly when he checked to see if   
she was wearing her seatbelt.  
  
And she swears there's nothing wrong  
I hear her playing that same old song  
She puts me off and puts me on  
  
Why'd she do that to me? he wondered as he thought about Julia and the   
"interrogation" that they gave him earlier. How could they think that I did   
that to her? Yamiro studied his profile. It was easy to tell that he was   
thinking about something-or rather someone.  
  
And had a bad day again  
She said I would not understand  
Left a note and said I'm sorry I  
Had a bad day again  
  
"Have a bad day, Shinosaki-kun?" Yamiro asked as she batted her eyes   
and the song came to an end.  
"Sorta," he answered shortly, flipping off the radio. Silence returned.   
"Which building?"  
"Seven."  
He turned into the parking lot and turned off the engine. Yamiro   
unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. "Do you want to come upstairs for   
tea or anything?" she offered.  
"No, thanks. I just want to get back home," he answered, turning the   
key in the ignition.  
"Please?" she pleaded with him, pouting her lips. "At least walk me   
to the door." She looked around. "There's a drunk that lives next door and   
I don't like him knowing that I'm alone," she whispered.  
Shinosaki looked at her with utter doubt. He took the keys from the   
ignition and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Okay," he sighed, defeated.  
  
Yamiro opened the door to her apartment. "Are you sure that you don't   
want to come in for a few minutes."  
"Yeah, but thanks anyway," he said, turning to leave. "I'll see you   
later."  
"Wait!" she called.   
He turned around and Yamiro met him there. She kissed him, full on   
the mouth.   
Shinosaki blinked and began to pull away. Yamiro pulled him closer   
and deepened the kiss. He put his hands on her shoulders and broke away.   
"What the hell was that?" he asked, furious.  
"Sorry, I just-" she broke off as tears fell down her cheeks. She   
turned away from him and wiped her face with the back of her sleeve.  
Guilt welled up inside of Shinosaki. He took a step toward her and   
put his hands on her shoulders again. "I'm sorry I got so mad. I just can't   
do this."  
She turned back to face him, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes.   
"I just thought that…that maybe you'd still felt…" she trailed off into silence.   
Shinosaki sighed. "That was almost four years ago."  
Yamiro shrugged. "So? I just thought-"  
"You thought wrong," Shinosaki cut in. "The reason I even came here   
was for Mako-chan. And you and I both know that you didn't show up at the   
hospital to see her."  
Her face fell. "That was cold," she whispered. Then her face hardened.   
"And how are you so sure that Mako-chan isn't just setting up all of this so that   
she can get to your trust fund!" she snapped.  
Shinosaki's stomach dropped; his face paled. "Trust fund?" he whispered   
to himself, his mind replaying his "interrogation" from earlier. Anger washed   
over him. "You honestly think that Mako-chan would do this to me and to my   
family," he asked incredulously.  
Yamiro cowered back for a moment, and then retorted, "Well, why wouldn't   
she! She's been jealous of you ever since her parents died!"  
"How can you possibly think that!" he shouted back. "Mako-chan was a   
part of our family. She cried with me when we found Hana; she comforted me when   
I told her about my parents, even when she was in pain. And you honestly expect   
me to even consider for a moment that she was a party in the murder of my family."  
"You said yourself that you kicked her out!" Yamiro rebuked.  
"I did no such thing! She moved out on her own. We helped her every way   
we could. For a while, some rich uncle was sending her money, but he stopped a   
year after I moved. Then she got a job and worked to help herself!"  
"See! That's all she wants! She only wants the money!"  
Shinosaki had reached the breaking point. "She doesn't even know about it!   
No one does! I didn't even know until a day ago that there even was a trust fund,   
which almost makes me wonder how you know about it!"  
Yamiro fell silent.   
Shinosaki ran a hand through his hair. He leaned over toward her. "Stay   
away from her, Yamiro," he whispered into her ear. He turned away and disappeared   
down the hall.   
  
"Takiro-san!" Julia called out as the detective opened the door to his office.   
He turned around and stood in the doorway. "What do you want now, Julia-san?"   
he answered impatiently.  
She stopped in front of him and looked him in the eye. "Shinosaki didn't   
know about the money. He couldn't have done it."   
Takiro gave her a doubtful look. "How do you know that he wasn't acting?"  
Julia's eyes became stern. "I just know. He didn't have a clue; didn't you   
see the look on his face?" She paused, trying to think of something else she could   
use to strengthen her case. "Have you ever seen the way he looks at her, or the way   
his eyes light up when he talks about her?" Takiro was silent. "Trust me on this one,   
Shinosaki would never do anything to harm that girl." She fell silent.  
Takiro rolled her words around in his head for a moment, straightening out   
his thoughts. "Okay, we'll drop the Miyake boy as a suspect. Do you have any new   
leads?" he said finally, after what seemed like an eternity.  
Julia grinned a smile that spread from ear to ear. "I think that we should   
look up long lost family, friends of the family; anyone that was close to either   
Shinosaki's parents or to Makoto's. Preferably both." She paused again, turning   
an idea around. "It's obvious to me that they're getting someone else to do their   
dirty work for them, so we have to look at how close the family and/or friends were   
to the family…" she trailed off. Takiro nodded and they began the research.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Sorry it's taken me so long to finish this chapter. The end of the story should   
be coming soon...I hope. Comments, questions, cherry pies? Send them to   
sailorstar100@yahoo.com  
  
a new millennium v2.1  
http://www.geocities.com/sailorstar100  
  
the libaray v2.1  
http://www.geocities.com/moonlightdetensu  
  
the candy shoppe *NEW*  
http://www.geocities.com/ryanna246  



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